Take your hat off!? At a loss for words!? Even when I am?! Outwit me!? Cap trick!?

My good man, if I were a foot taller, fifty pounds heavier, twenty-thirty years younger, in top or near-top physical condition, and a master of one of the several Oriental martial arts, or were, alternatively, a Golden Gloves boxing champion - or had recently achieved high marks in a vigorous training course in commando-style hand-to-hand combat - why, I'd soon show you who's at a loss for words!