Sorry I only came across this today, and cannot read the earlier thread because of its size. Ddw and Allan, you are in my thoughts. Like others, I feel inadequate to respond appropriately.

Human beings are so strong, and yet so vulnerable to violence and death at the same time. It is very strange, this life we lead. Friendship, love, ommunity and family are where both of these -- strength and vulnerability -- mingle, change, can be shared, expressed. That is why they are so precious, and yet often seem inadequate. But their existence grapples with that inadequacy -- like Jacob wrestling with the angel of life and death -- which maybe is what makes them friendship, love, community, family in the end. In my thoughts and prayers.
yours, Peter T.