Dear Patients,

Good Heavens! And there was this poor humble old medic thinking that he had lapsed into a well-deserved early retirement! But trusty Mr. Hardly to the rescue once again with a conundrum that is indeed fascinating. I myself, naturally, have been experimenting for some some as to how to use the surplus vibrational energy generated by the guitar and route it into the national grid for the generation of retirement income and the general benefit of society and of the environment in general. After all, one is always dismayed to see the wastage of energy and my interest in this fascinating subject was stirred by seeing the considerable enthalpic exergenic of a so-called "thrasher" at the local performance nightspot some months ago.

I shall today review the physics that underlies Mr Hardly's hypothesis and hope to have a suitable answer shortly.

Mr Rapaire's question is on a somewhat larger topic. Indeed, I am fully aware that the universe, and more specifically black holes, are tuned to Bb which is of course the key of that fine instrument the tenor saxophone. This, of course, was well-known to Mr Adolphe Sax, who little known to modern science and instrument technology, constructed an extremely large hearing horn in his back garden in Dinant, Belgium and perceived a very faint resonance to this effect, thereby inspiring him.

I expect to be turning to the model of string theory or, more properly, superstring theory, to solve this design problem. As Mr Rapaire quite right observes himself, the problem is not so much one of the strings themselves but of more mundane design challenges such as the design of neck and frets and, indeed, where the soundhole should be placed for this will in most probability be a very loud guitar, especially if played by one of Mr Hardly's "thrashers". I am sure that is could produce excess energy too, so by a serendipitous conjunction of logic, the two questions are complementary.

I shall attempt to coax my ailing brains (or should that be branes in the case of Mr Rapire's question) into providing a solution to these most challenging problems, and as sure as Dear Ebbie will not look at the prohibited jazz guitar chord sites, will be back shortly to report on my findings.

Thank you, Mr Hardly and Mr Rapaire, for calling a humble doctor out of semi-retirement to consider such important issues. You have made an old man very happy! (and here I refer of course to myself rather than Mr Offer!).

Yours most sincerely,

Dr. Guitar