I was shocke d... shocked, I tell you ... to learn the true feelings of Starbuck baristas as they vend their charms and wares to the many many yuppies who line up at their counters.

Here's the confession:

"Starbucks baristas are not your friends
Posted Mar 28th 2007 2:30PM by Bob Sassone


That's the claim by an anonymous Starbucks barista in a rant posted over at Jim Romenesko's Starbuck's Gossip Blog. It was originally posted on the Chicago Craigslist, but was removed.

While the barista really isn't saying anything new here, it's actually a good one-stop summary for everyone who doesn't like the coffee shop chain, and a funny, revealing rant for people who do like the chain. A few tidbits from the article after the jump!

'1. We are not your friends. We are usually not your neighbors. In most cases, we absolutely loathe you, but we are outwardly friendly -- because we are paid to do so. You are not getting special treatment, and we really don't give a shit about your last vacation or your new baby or your real estate problems. We ask how you're doing because it's a way of making conversation, and we are pressured to make conversation in this line of work. Now, there are some customers who are genuinely liked, but they're few and far between. If you have to think about it, you're probably not one of them.'

Now, this could probably be said about any retail/customer service job, though I do like the lines "we are usually not your neighbors" and "if you have to think about it, you're probably not one of them," referring to customers the baristas actually like.

'6. We are trained to call out drink orders in a particular way. This helps to ensure that we get all of your stupid, nitpicky details correct. DO NOT
• Correct me (see above)
• Tell me as snottily as possible that you "don't speak Starbucks." That is quite possibly one of the dumbest statements I've ever heard.
• Keep asking me, "Is it decaf? Did you get that? I ordered decaf. Are you sure it's decaf?" F+CK YOU. Yes, I got it.
• Tell me how to make a drink. I know what goes into a mocha. You probably couldn't make one if someone had a gun to your head.'

As someone who worked in restaurants for a decade or more, I laughed out loud at this part.

'15. Have a nice f+cking day, you bastards!'

I think Starbucks should sell T-shirts with that slogan."

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So I want to know how badly fooled I have been. What are the secret viewpoints of YOUR profession, the things you would be fired for telling your customers?


A