This idea that "I can call them that because they call each other that" is just a weasly excuse for using, or tacitly approving of, offensive and demeaning language.

I didn't say that. But when African-American rap artists and comedians use this sort of rhetoric in a public forum to describe women, and particularly black women, in this way, they are dragging this language and these attitudes out of a dank cellar and into public domain. Hell no I don't condone it! But I think for a guy like Don Imus to say what he did, be called on the carpet for it, issue a public apology, appear on the Reverend Al Sharpton's radio show to do penance, and promise never to do such a thing again...well, to me that should get the public's attention as some sort of atonement.
Then when Busta Rhymes makes a similar statement, he gets repeat airplay on BET and a substantial financial reward? Let's hear Busta issue a public apology, appear on Oprah, and promise never to do it again! Am I the only one who thinks that would be REAL progress?

Let's turn it around...Just because you can't call my sister a red-headed bitch in public, do I have the right to do it? The very least I should get from doing that is your righteous disdain and a boot in the ass from my sister.