Ah, MM, you have laden me with exertions this morning. I have consulted with the eldest of the Alphabetic Elders concerning your excellent questions. They offer the following guidance:

What is the Canon of the Church of the Alphabet regarding such writings as "On Beyond Zebra"?

The Church encourages exploration of Alphabetical Glory in general, but admonishes adherents not to resort to heretical combinations or to lightly abandon the centuries of wisdom that are inherent in the modern alphabet.

What is the stance of the Church on Syllabic writing, heiroglyphs and Pictographs?

Deus Alphabeticus has worked many wonders over the millenia while perfecting Its Best Begotten Alphabet, the one which we are now famililar with. These ancient wonders are not to be made less of. However, it is clear that such works were early trials at revealing Alphabetic Glory, and are not substitutes for the Real Alphabet as we now know it. In evidence of which, you will find that there are no children's songs reciting the Pictographic alphabet, are there? Such a song is impossible -- it would never scan. (Little dog, big dog, three-quarters of a square, Thing lilke a tree with wavy hair. Something kind of like an ampersand but bigger, arrow pointing at a 45 degree angle, circle with lines coming out of it, lady-face-looking-right... it's hopeless!)

(Were Pictographs the results of pre-celtic mathematics?)

They were a pre-enlightenment effort by ancient peoples to discover the Glory of the True Alphabet, but not a successful one.


Most importantly, what is the Church's stand on dipthongs?

Thongs of all kinds are encouraged as part of the Church's policy of encouraging ecumenical brotherhood with other religious organizations such as the honorable Temple of the Golden Globes.

Hope this helps.

A.
First Vowel