You know you have all my sympathy at this time.

Keep talking about him and let the tears roll, because they need to.
It's over 20years since I lost my dad (and 6 since my mum died), and when my dad died, although it was expected, I had two young children to care for who didn't at the time (aged 4 and 6) need to see their mother go to pieces. I am an only child, and so there was no support in that area. Ian was great, but he was of quite a stoic nature, and so I learned to throttle it back a little bit. We were in the process of moving house too. There were the usual weepy moments when memory was triggered, but it was only after my mum died that I realised I hadn't really mourned him properly, and I felt so guilty, as if I had done him a disservice. In fact, my dad would probably have been glad I didn't turn into a wreck, but that still hasn't taken away the feeling that I should have gone to the grave more, or thought about him more than I did.

Your father sounds to have been a wonderful man, who lived a fruitful and happy life, knowing he was loved so much. He seemed to have been at peace with himself and God, ready to shed a body which had become a burden to him, and go on to new life with the blessing of his family. It was what out vicar would have called a "good death", and one we could all hope to have.
We have a little service in our parish this evening, and I'll be praying for you.

Andrea