There once was a hermit named Dave
Who kept a dead whore in his cave
He said I'll admit I'm a bit of a shit
but look at the money I save.

There once was a man a man from Australia
Who painted his arse like an azalea
The colours were bright and also devine
But the smell, Ooooh that was a failyah.

There once was a man from Boston,
Who purchased himself an Austin
There was room for his ass and a gallon of gas,
But his balls hung out and he lost 'em