The Farewell Toast - Probably best if sung ala Mike Cross on his CD "The Best of the Funny stuff"

Here's to the wine we love to drink and the food we love to eat
Here's to our wives and sweethearts, and may they never meet
Here's champagne for our real friends and real pain for our sham friends
And when this journey finally ends may all of us fine peace.

Here's to the women that I've loved and all the ones I've kissed
As for regrets I have just one, that's all the ones I missed
Yes women's faults are many, we men have only two,
Every single thing we say and every thing we do

I wish you health I wish you wealth and happiness galore
I wish ya heaven when ya die, what could I wish ya more
May your joys be as deep as the oceans, your troubles as light as it's foam
And may you find sweet peace of mind wherever you may roam