I was helping my ailing mother to walk to the toilet, when she dropped dead in my arms. I knew she was dead, even though the kids and I went through the procedures of CPR and calling the ambulance.

It wasn't long after everyone left her in peace that the subtle change was noticed. As has been said before: nobody home. The ambulance crew said that you could nearly always see a change shortly after death.

As regards fear of dying - what's the use of being scared: it's the one thing we're all sure of! With me it's not so much the dying, but not knowing the how or the when.
My recently departed husband held no fear of dying, only of becoming incapacitated. He wasn't that bothered about the "when" either, as far as I could tell.

Andrea