See if you can find one in the local 'shanty' town eh?
I see we have outside interest this year...a few new contributors to the thread...so are you coming to the Festival or do you have worse things to do?
The local butcher is said to have some delicious meat pies this year. The taste of his meat pies has certainly improved since his wife disappeared last month without trace..... Last year when I asked him for bacon...he said "Lean back" which I thought was a bit strange but I leaned back and asked him again.
Backwoodsman has elected to take the star spot at the Pig and Pong on Friday night. I particularly enjoyed his rendition of "Anarchist Geordie" last year..he also sung his own versions of "I'm fawnin' over you darlin'" and "Look at that lass in the mini skirt over there"...... All the women enjoyed him!(if you'll pardon the expression).
It has come to the notice of the committee that someone complained of a puff adder being in the bathroom last year......the rumour is totally untrue although Sergeant Smart did break wind in the bath and count the bubbles if that's where the rumour came from.
Getting close to the Festival now...more details when I have them.