I drivel at roughly twice the speed of sound. I used to drivel at slightly more than the speed of light, but someone told me that nothing can exceed the speed of light, so I had to slow down. Didn't want to break any laws, especially the laws of physics.

But, you know, maybe they're wrong. I mean, physicists are really smart people, and smart people don't drivel. It takes a real idiot to drivel. For example, this post was started by an idiot and look at how its driveling rate is accelerating! It started out being merely inane and pointless, and now it makes no fucking sense at all! Hell, it's driveling along at near light-speed and still has one wheel stuck in a rut!

And, also, when they talk about nothing can exceed the speed of light, they're talking about light moving through a vacuum. Light can be slowed down. All you have to do is catch the light in a jar of mollasses (treacle to you Brits). A snail crawls twice as fast as a sunbeam caught in a vat of treacle. (I've decided I like "treacle" better than "mollasses". It sounds more disgusting.) Even a smart person can drivel faster than that.

Drivel safely and don't forget to buckle up.

And, for God's sake, eat your cucumbers!