Hello, is this the RCMP?" [RCMP = Royal Canadian Mounted Police]

"Yes. How may I help you?"

"I'm calling to report my neighbour, Mike Fitzpatrick! He's hiding drugs inside his firewood."

"Thank you very much for the call, sir."

The next day, the RCMP SWAT team officers descended on Mike's house.

They searched the shed where the firewood was kept. Using axes, they busted open every piece of wood, but found no drugs.

They swore at Mike, he swore at them, and then they left.

The next day, the phone rang at Mike's house...

"Hey, Mike! Did the RCMP come to your house?"

"Yeah!"

"Did they chop your firewood?"

"Yep."

"Happy Birthday, buddy."