Why do football fans talk about 'we' when their team wins? It really annoys me when some brainless prat, who supports Manchester Rovers, or something, starts prattling on at the coffee machine about how "that goal that 'we' scored against Barcelona Academicals in the second half last night was magic!".

I want to say to him (and if he's smaller and less aggressive than me, often do). "No, you prat, 'you' didn't have anything to do with scoring it - some grossly overpaid yob, who doesn't even come from Manchester, scored it! And not only that, 'you' were not even there - 'you' watched it on telly!"