As I said above, I've been pregnant twice. During both preganancies I felt great, glowing, like the Earth Goddess, full of the energy of creation.

The first pregnancy was at age 35. I knew I was pregnant as soon as the fertilized egg attached to the uterine lining. Right from the very beginning, I had a very clear and conscious sense of connection with the fetus. A very clear and symbiotic awareness of the sentience of the being that was growing within me. At some very primal level, we communicated. I went into labor (and it was labor, not just bad cramping)at 16 weeks, and in hindsight, I could tell you just when that fetus died. During the 12 week of that pregnancy, I suddenly experienced a day full of fear, distress and dread that verged on panic. A few days later I commented to my husband that I no longer had that strong conscious connection with the fetus. We were packing up to move back to NC from our winter in the Keys. I had my last visit with the Florida OB just before that day of dread. I was scheduled to see my new OB on the day I started spotting. The ultrasound he did indicated a placenta the right size for 12 weeks. The fetus had been dead long enough to have been reabsorbed into my own body and bloodstream.

After that I couldn't get pregnant. I worked with a fertility doc until I was 40. Then I started into early menopause, and we hung up the towel on having children. 2 years later, at age 42, I took a home preganancy test as a precaution because it had been an usually long interval between menstrual periods even considering I was going through menopause. It was positive. I was shocked. The preganancy itself was wonderful, and I was ever mindful that a new life was within, but I never had the conscious connection and communication with my son in utero that I experienced with that first pregnancy.

So ladies....what are your stories of the children in your wombs?

Janie