I remember shocking my late mother in law when i told her I didn't want children, she was showing me the family christening robe at the time. Then after we married we found out there was a genetic problem in my then husbands family, so we decided we probably would not have children as there is a one in four chance that our baby would have the same condition. Then the hormones took over and the pills went out the window and i conceived straight away. It was lovely but we had to do the CVS tests to check for the myotonic dystrophy and for ten weeks we had a joyous time. On Wednesday Dec 21 1988 we got the news we didn't want by Friday it was all over and Christmas Eve saw us going up to my mums on the back road from Langholm to Lockerbie, a road we always used, past the nose cone of Pan Am 103. Don't remember much of that Christmas.

By the may of 89 I'd decided we'd try again and sure enough I 'fell' first time we tried. I was sick once. Did the tests and ignored them, the docs in Edinburgh were marvellous as they'd been before and kept a close eye on us. I loved being pregnant. I had a notion that i was having a girl and bloomed the whole time and sung and talked to my bump which we named Zeefod..yep after the two headed alien in Hitch Hikers Guide. Had a great time went to festivals and dances and had a bump that kicked in time to the tunes. That Christmas we went up home to mum and i thought jane was coming early as we'd been to the Girvan Folk Club Christmas Party and in my lovely red frock, which i now realise made me look like a post box..I danced and sang and had a ball. Ended up with the most awful wind and sat up all night with my mum..John went to bed.....and left us to it.

The day before she was actually born we spent house hunting, then went for a Chinese, came home and started writing ads for our house using estate agents speak and couldnt stop laughing. next morning I could stop peeing.....and thought I had wind!!!!!! Off to Edinburgh and the pains stopped as soon as we got into the hospital!!!! However, at 1am on 22 jan 1990 she popped out all pink and healthy to the sound of the Clutha.

My baby is now 17, towers above me. At 12 she was diagnosed with Aspergers which I found hard but it could be far far worse and means we a unique view of the world. From she was a very wee thing Jane always said she wanted a big brother, well thanks to my partner she's inherited 3 by default and its a riot when we are all together.