Yeah, me 'n' ol' Buffalo Bill (we called him "Buffy") were good friends out here in the mountains. 'Course, I knew him when he was growin' up back in Illinois, in Monmouth, him and the Earp brothers. They was always gettin' into trouble. After Buffy got out on the plains he nailed several vampires, which is how he got the name Buffy the Vampire Nailer. Yah see, his last name was Bill and his first name was Buffalo 'cuz he wuz named after the city in New York. His daddy was named Wild, Wild Bill.

An' I wouldn't lie none about any of that. Specially about the Earp boys. They wuz pure trouble: Burp, Urp, Purp, and Wyatt. He was the youngest. Never could shoot worth anything, so 'most every day he'd lose fiver er ten dollars to Buffy. Buffy couldn't shoot either, but he could do it better'n Wyatt. We'd put 'em inside a barn and bet who which one could hit it inside of a hunert shots.