Could be worse - someone killed your Fred. then you'd be looking for a killer. You'd have to put out an APB. There would be dire consequences. There'd be a trial and he might get off and come after you revenge. Supposing police couldn't give you 'round the clock' protection.

In the circumstances, I should consider myself fortunate.

Anyway a young lad like you shouldn't be worried about the size of his thread. Get out, play football - if your small thread doesn't arouse ribald comment in the shower, its probably normal. And if it does give rise to ribald comment, well that's football players for you.

I'm sure theres nice girl somewhere who doesn't care about that sort of thing.