Wouldsn't Oscar be more useful OUTSIDE the facility? Give him a roving commission to wander round the streets until he attaches himself to an passer-by who until then thought he had a slight head-ache or mild indigestion. Result: passer-by has time to put his affairs in order, say his goodbyes, have wild unprotected sex, whatever, while Oscar builds a thriving private practice and can put the kittens through college.

Meanwhile the elderly patients back on the ward can slide into oblivion untroubled by newscrews and those pesky relatives who've ignored them for the past 40 years.

There's potential for a joke along the lines of 'I was feline good until that cat came in!' but I can't be bothered to think about it. Anyway, haven't vultures been performing a similar trick for years?