I think that Reagan had certain leprechaunish qualities, not to say that he was one. He was too tall to be a leprechaun.

Well, I think it's time to let the cat out of the bag and come clean.

Ahem!









I run both the Freemasons AND the Mormons. Yes I do. The reason you have not heard about it before was that it was a matter of top, TOP security, as you can imagine.

However, I am now revealing all. I am the Big Cheese, the Head Honcho, the Man In Charge.

But all that is about to end. Why? Because I'm bored with the whole thing, frankly. What is it good for having Ultimate Power, if I still can't get a date with Winona Ryder?

Ultmate power is a crock, believe me. It's just not worth the trouble.

Accordingly, I am about to hand in my resignation and hand over the job to someone else. Interested parties should come to Salt Lake City on August 15th. Bring your photo I.D., your resume, and a small graven image of either Jesus, Elvis, or William Shatner.