Now that the silliness seems to have run its course, may I revert to when we were all very young, at 4.11pm on 7/8, when I for one learnt that:

'In mainland Britain there are two academically-recognised dialects.
Lowland Scots and Yorkshire Dales.'

No troll, no axe to grind, nothing intended except to clarify the point: what disqualifies all the other commonly accepted dialects from actually being dialects? Five minutes on Google gave me references to East Midlands, Lincolnshire, London, Geordie, West Country, Leicestershire, Nottingham and Derbyshire dialects, all on the BBC alone, and an AS level study course, presumably written by an academic which dealt in detail with various 'dialects'.

I grew up thinking that my country relatives spoke (and sang) in a Suffolk dialect. So many local words, most now largely out of use - more than just an accent, surely?