THE BARRAS
(Words and music Jim McLean Published by Duart Music UK)

This is what I can remember, it was a long time ago. It was first recorded by Nigel Denver on Decca in 1968. Previously it had only been sung on Scottish Television. Alastair McDonald also recorded it in 1972.

There's a spot in Glasgae city that's well kent the whole world o'er.
It's mair famous than the Mona Lisa's face.
It is visited by royalties and rascals by the score.
Everybody knows the Barras is the place.
Did you know St. Peter lost the keys to yon big pearly gates
And he thought that he'd get flung oot o' his job?
Then a fly wee Glasgae angel said, "Ach! Peter, dinnae greet.
You can buy one at the Barras for a bob".

Oh the Barras, oh the Barras, they're nor in Rome or Paris.
Ye have tae go tae Glasgow's Gallowgate.
They sell tickets tae the moon, a return for half-a-croon,
And five bob guarantees a first-class seat.

You've heard how Samson lost his strength. Delilah cut his hair.
He was left as weak and baldy as a wean.
So he travelled ower tae Glasgae, tae the Barras for a cure,
And he soon was strong and hairy once again.
One day, a Frenchman noticed that the Eiffel Tower was gone.
The president when notified grew pale;
So he called oot all his soldiers and they hunted high and low
Till they found it at the barras up for sale.

Oh the Barras, oh the Barras, they're no in Rome nor Paris.
Ye have to tae go tae Glasgow's Gallowgate.
They sell tickets tae the moon, a return for half-a-croon,
And five bob guarantees a first-class seat.

When the Romans came tae Scotland, many donkeys’ years ago,
They got nae further than the Gallowgate;
For the lads who ran the Barras swapped them souvenirs for swords,
Then the fly wee Glasgow keelies had them bate.
In a school no far frae Partick Cross, a teacher spiered the class:
"Tell me, wha kens ocht aboot the Missing Link?"
Then a wee boy in the front row shot his haun up in the air.
"Ye'll find one at the Barras, Sir, Ah think!"

Oh the Barras, oh the Barras, they're no in Rome nor Paris.
Ye have to tae go tae Glasgow's Gallowgate.
They sell tickets tae the moon, a return for half-a-croon,
And five bob guarantees a first-class seat.

When oor Prince Chairlie had tae flee awa' frae Scotia's shores,
And seek refuge far across the friendly main,
How the tears ran streamin' frae his een as these words he did speak:
"Och! I'd love tae see the Barras once again!"
Noo, before I close my story, I will gie you some advice.
If you're efter something cheap or second-hand,
Take a trip up to the Barras, for there's nothing can compare
Tae the stuff they sell in Glasgow's Barraland!

Oh the Barras, oh the Barras, they're no in Rome nor Paris.
Ye have to tae go tae Glasgow's Gallowgate.
They sell tickets tae the moon, a return for half-a-croon,
And five bob guarantees a first-class seat.