Two requests are enough encouragement for me! The full lyrics of the politically non-correct version I mentioned are as follows -

My dog's name is Rover and he drinks real beer
And he sings songs in folk clubs with a paw in one ear
You can't stop him drinking, he's drunk every night
And he chases every young female creature in sight

And it's no, nay, never, no, nay, never no more
Will I play with Young Rover, no never no more

I went to a pig farm an old sow to see
And I took my dog Rover along there with me
He jumped in the pig pen just for a lark
Now the old sow's got piglets with fangs and a bark

And it's no, nay, never etc etc

Whilst walking in Soho one Saturday night
I looked round but Rover was nowhere in sight
Then I heard someone shouting "I've just been laid
it was a big dog wot done it an' I haven't been paid!"

And it's no, nay, never etc etc

At last I got married and on the first night
When I came in from the bathroom she had turned out the light
I slipped in beside her, she said with surprise
"Just now you were hairy and three times the size!"

And it's no, nay, never etc etc

So I went to the vet's house to get Rover done
And I went back to fetch him at a quarter to one
Things had gone badly, it was easy to tell
He'd rogered the vet and his assistant as well!

And it's no, nay, never etc etc

Now Rover's in heaven, or maybe in hell
He was so young to die, it pains me to tell
It wasn't pneumonia, or hard-pad, or fleas
No, Rover he died of a social disease

And it's no, nay, never etc etc

- I'll get my coat as well!