Hi, PMB - I think the people you're talking about are mostly those who are best labeled "hard-liners" or "extremists."
You use the Catholic Church and abortion as an example. Yes, the "official" position is that all abortion is morally wrong - but you add some emotion-charged words that put a stronger "spin" on it. The "official" church also offers programs to reconcile, heal, and welcome back women who have have had abortions. Also, a longstanding teaching that is often misunderstood states that if a person firmly believes that what he or she has done is not wrong, there is no guilt even though an action is objectively wrong. Yes, the Catholic Church takes a strong stand against abortion - but it also tries not to exclude women who have had abortions. What you hear from the outside are the shrill voices of the extremists. What you would hear in a private counseling session would be quite different.
I think you'd find the same in groups that practice some sort of "ritual mutilation," for lack of a better word. What we hear of are the extreme examples - most people in these groups, while they may have practices and beliefs that outsiders consider barbaric, are quite compassionate in the way they live out those beliefs and practices. Same goes for arranged marriages and rules about chastity. All groups have extremists who enforce beliefs in a barbaric way - but I find that the majority of people in almost every situation, have a strong preference for being loving and compassionate.
Don't judge groups by the shrill, extremist voices that claim to represent the group - look deeper, into the hearts of the normal people who form the compassionate "silent majority" of most communities in our world.