Here's a little ditty by one of our National Treasures, Bruce Watson - well at least, here's the chorus. I don't have the verses.

Be sure to never split an infinitive,
Never use no double negatives,
Never generalise, that's a rule you'll see everyone break.
Choose your words well, profread everythnig well,
Keep everything clear, don't be vague.
And avoid cliches like the plague.

And as Bruce says - WHO NEEDS RHETORICAL QUESTIONS?