Jack was a very heavy smoker who coughed so much, that one day his wife said "Jack, if you don't stop smoking, you are surely going to cough your guts up."
"Don't be daft" Jack said dismissively, "your talking nonsense."
So, his wife decided she would teach him a lesson. She went down to the butcher and bought a couple of pounds of pigs intestines. When Jack was asleep that night she placed the intestines next to every orifice in his body.
The next morning when she woke, she found Jack sitting on the edge of the bed, his face as white as a sheet.
"What's the matter" she said
"You were right he said, I did cough my guts up, but it's alright" he continued, "I managed to get it all back in again!"