This gives me the horrors just reading it - in fact, I'm fuming! This could be any of us in a few years' time. Imagine being poor old dad suddenly being made to catch a plane to spend Christmas in a strange nursing home. He would probably think he's been dumped there - possibly for longer - because nobody cares about him any more.

I wouldn't mince words with the brother. I would let him know how disgraceful you think his "offer" really is, then have dad home for Christmas as you normally do. I can't see you having your holiday away this Christmas either, but later on when dad is gone, you'll be glad you did the right thing. As SRS said, you wouldn't enjoy yourselves on a holiday, knowing where he is anyway, and if something happened to him, you would never forgive yourselves.

I'm afraid you might have to "bite the bullet" here, and please don't ever tell dad about this horrible "offer". It would be hurtful to him.

It reminds me of a TV series that used to be here in Oz, called "Mother and Son". Your wife's brother reminds me of the rich but uncaring brother whose idea of a solution was to "throw money at it". Those who have seen the show will know what I'm talking about.