And a favorite parody of mine . . .

Save your nickels, save your dimes
Save your money for the good old times
'Cause Gladys isn't gratis any more
What she used to do for free
Now she's doing for a special fee
'Cause Gladys isn't gratis any more

So if you run into a five-foot-two that isn't Gladys
Now she's wearing high-heeled shoes since she lost her amateur status

Save your nickels, save your dimes
Save your money for the whoopie times
'Cause Gladys isn't gratis any more.