Mrrzy, I don't think anyone can fully express your feelings about your father's death except you. You probably won't find someone else's lyrics fill that void or makes sense of senselessness.

A Chicago cab driver told S.I. Hayakawa that, after a riot where blacks had thrown stones and almost hit his mother, the cab driver had organized a group of friends and beat up some blacks. Hayakawa asked him, 'Did you get the guys who threw rocks at your mother?' Violence and revenge seldom seems to hit ideal targets. More often it's stupid and senseless.

Keep writing - whether it's Mudcat messages or lyrics or just notes to yourself.