I know I shouldn't do this. I know I'm just going to make things worse. But the temptation is just too much.

Peter. (Who owns several handguns, loves to shoot them, and has never in his life knowingly fired a gun at a living thing.)

Something to Shoot
Christopher David Wall
Rhythm Wrangler Music, BMI
From his recording, Honky Tonk Heart:

I was born and raised 'way out west
And the thing that I like about living here best
Ain't the mountains, the praries, the hats or the boots;
It's having plenty of guns, and something to shoot

We got shotguns and six-guns, we got a shitload of guns,
And shooting varmints and critters is a shitload of fun.
I don't care 'bout the money, don't care 'bout the loot.
Give me Jack Daniels whiskey, and something to shoot.

There's a whole herd of elk, right there in a line,
And it's a pain in the ass to shoot 'em one at a time.
I'm 'way below quota, I've had a bad day;
Boy, what I wouldn't give for just one hand grenade!

I don't care about the future, don't care 'bout the past;
As long as I've got me some creatures to blast.
We got deer, we got elk, we got old owls that hoot;
And when I've killed 'em all, there'll be yankees to shoot.

Now don't you tailgate me son, get off my back
I got a thirty-ought-six right here in the rack.
And this ain't New Jersey, we don't honk, we don't yell
But you just touch that bumper, and I'll blow you to Hell.

(Repeat first verse)