Thanks, so much, my friends. Just your thoughts and experiences are helpful to read, as I know I am so close to the situation AND have my own experiences clouding the issue, somewhat.

It seems your daughter is mistakenly thinking she can be responsible for the choices her ex may make. If he leaves the country, HE is choosing to remove himself from the children. SHE is not forcing him to go, nor is she withholding the children from him.

Yes, Janie, Thanks. That is what HE would like her to believe. That's why my initial reaction was "fine, let him go!"

I think she feels strongly about the boys having him in their lives because he has been in their lives so much over their nine years and been a good dad, plus they love him, as he loves them and even her, still. The way he is acting now is not the man I knew a couple or so years ago. He is very angry at her and striking out when he just can't stand it any longer. I am NOT excusing him in anyway.

He also found out he is diabetic about 3-4 years ago about a year after their "troubles" started and I think that has added to his depression. Their troubles started when he went to work one day and his company closed their doors, a victim of the software crash or whatever they called it when so many of them went out of business. It took him over a year to find a decent job. This was a man who has always been steadily employed, often at 2-3 jobs at a time, AND stayed with each company for years and years. He sticks to whatever he takes on. He has been in his current job for several years, now.

My daughter did things she regrets, now, but there is no going back and it did not involve the children, nor drugs, drinking, or anything else illegal. She moved out a year ago, with the kids, and finally filed for divorce when it became obvious there was no way he would ever let go of the anger and forgive her for anything, real or perceived.

Ah, well, he'd hate it if he knew I was talking about his private affairs. He is such a private person. I was the only one he would talk to about deep down things and he stopped doing that quite awhile ago. I have reached out several times only to hear nothing back. I guess all I can do is bless and release him to his Highest Good and know that what comes will be for the highest good of all concerned.

I raised my first two kids without support from their dad and my third one once her dad left when she was a year old. I met my Rog and he adopted all three of them shortly after, but I continued to work full-time and kept our kids in shoes, etc. throughout their growing up years, with Rog's help. And, yes, Janie, revoking my first husband's rights was not something I took lightly. There's lot more to that story, but it is ancient history so I'll let it go.:-) Suffice it to say, I was surprised and relieved when he and I spoke for the first time since 1977, when he called me last year, after I saw his mom in the grocery store and I gave her my number. It was a huge relief as I'd always been a bit afraid knowing I was on his family's imaginary "hit list" for taking his kids away. Apparently they got over it. My son has visited with him and his family several times over the past year and enjoyed himself, which is fine with me.

McGrath, it is a pittance over here, that $40 per child, per week. The man used to be so good with finances. I think he hasn't been well in a long time. My daughter is now looking for an extra job to help supplement things. (Oh, and it's Connecticut, which is is VERY expensive, esp. compared to Wyoming.:-)

Art, thanks for the info and suggestion re' mileage. I will tell her about that. He is not a jerk to the kids and I understand her wanting him to be there for them in what ways are possible, BUT I also get angry and disheartened when I hear he is acting this way.

Thanks for listening, folks. I really appreciate it.