Sorry, mg, missed your post as I was composing mine. He is not abusive to them in any way, thank goodness. When I knew him, he was a very gentle, caring man. I always told him if I could choose a son, it would be him. He has never acted out, physically, while angry. I don't believe he ever would.

I am grateful his step-mom and dad live nearby. The boys love to visit them and stay overnight about once per month, so they at least have somegrandparents nearby AND the grandparents have, at least the step-mom, have told my dau. She is always welcome and to please not let the strife between her and the boys' dad spill over to the boys and their visits.