As I read your post, it seems that you are saying that this man is acting completely out of character, and is obviously battling depression. It seems to me that this should be reckoned with and it appears you are.

I know that when I was divorced from my older girls Mother, it was imperative to me that the kids lives not be disrupted in a financial way, as the emotional cost was going to be tough enough to deal with. I couldn't care less what their Mom did with the money as long as the kids were being taken care of, and their was as much continuity in their lives as possible. I paid half again as much in child support as the tables called for, against the wishes of my female attorney. And I never missed a payment.

It seems to me that this Dad needs some help, but you must not let that cause you to enable him to avoid his responsibilties to these precious babies. Perhaps some sort of intervention to force him into some counseling?

Mick