Riginslinger is also responding as if my post was a comment upon anyone else's. It's not.


However, about attaching/garnishing-- I think part of the "take it all" theory is that what is owed is owed, because it's based on what a child needs, not on what a given parent HAS. Some of the parents I know-- custodial as well as non-costodial-- take on additional employment to meet those needs because in their view, what they need to earn is whatever it takes to raise the child. "Nothing left to lvoe one" presumes that "nothing else can be earned," and it's not that simple.

I myself made a choice not to pursue child support but to make do on what I and family could contribute. I'm not going into the details about why I did that. But another single mom I know who ALSO did not pursue it for many years discovered, later, that a suit on behalf of the CHILD can be made up to to a certain age, for prospective as well as retroactive support. This is because the right to support BELONGS, legally, to the child-- not to the custodial parent.

And that's precisely why courts, social workers, agencies, and the gummint pursue deadbeat parents-- because they are doing it on behalf of the child, not on behalf of the parent who may be caught up in any or all kinds of mess around the issue both practically and emotionally. (I say "deadbeat parents" because Hardi's single parent experience speaks loudly about deadbeat moms.)


It's relatively easy to opine about all these issues when one has not had to deal with them, but IMO when women gained the enforceable right to say NO and the enforceable right to decide what happens to our bodies, we also gained an increased responsibility to think creatively and rationally about the results. IMO there is far more community support (formal and familial) than co-parental support in far too many situations. And that sucks. But that does not limit the creativity a single parent can bring to bear on meeting the child's needs, and staying stuck in a victim mentality will limit that creativity until it gives way to a can-do mindset that leads into problem-solving.

THAT is why I think the best help most grandparents can give right off is emotional support, because it is the custodial parent's ability to think clearly and creatively that ultimately serves the child best, and that is where all the rest must start-- THINKING. From there, the custodial parent can begin to let folks know what ELSE they need (financially, informationally or legally), and go from there.


We (our societies) can legislate responsibility and hope it eventually will have mass application, but we cannot hope to legislate effectively "case by case," because every case is different and must be strategized from what the reality may be in THAT case.

~Susan
(Apolgies for present and future typos. I'm having a severe vision problem I hope will resolve with new lenses in a couple of weeks.)