Praise the Lord, and pass the ammunition... I AM still in the land of the living. Kat, please translate "LMAOWROTF" - all the versions I can come up with are verging on the ridiculous.

Keli, with 30" bellbottoms (and a coat of navy blue?) you just can't miss a date on that date.

Snuffy, my mind is boggling, What with your "Bid" and "Wel" start, you won't be able to afford a Ford, (let alone a Morris) by noon when you meet the worthies at the "Peb". And, you're talking of decorking 25 pints per pisshead? Have a corker day!

My blessing upon your liver - BUT - a word of warning - Don't dance TOO much, you know what happens when you "Shakes beer", don't you? I'll keep my aerial up on the 2nd. Sounds like the Avon will be 'avin the flood to end all floods that day.

And, talking of Maypoles, (which you were), please, please, bear a thought for how the Russians (ab)used the Poles on May Day 1916, while you are dancing, and having FUN.

Yours (in sorrow) - Sam

PS - the Ruskies used the Poles to keep the wires up. So, keep your aerial up on Mayday, Snuffy. I'll send a wireless message to see if you're still wired up at the end of it, not away with Arial, or snuffed it, after all those pints......;)

Have a bonzer day Snuffy, wish'a could be wiv'ya