The word "queer" seems to have fallen into the same catagory as the "N" word. If used by someone who is gay, it doesn't seem quite as offensive as if used by a heterosexual

Guest James, I have too little personal experience to know if this is so. But like you, I personally feel that the "n" word is offensive regardless who says or writes it.

It seems to me that the word "f*g" or "f*ggot" might rate higher in "cringability" than the word "queer". Maybe "f*ggot" is as offensive a word to gay and lesbians as "n****r" is to many Black people. I don't know that "f*ggot" really is largely considered to be offensive by that individuals in that population or by that population in general. However, I can imagine that being called a "f*g" might make a homosexual person wince.

I'm heterosexual, and {but} that word makes me wince in empathy for how a homosexual person might feel when they hear it or read it.

Of course, I learned on Mudcat that in Great Britain a "f*ggot" means a cigarette. But in the USA, it's a pejorative referent and I hate how I think it probably make some folks feel.