Do you really think that people, no matter their sexual orientation,political views,Nationality etc should be able to call themselves what they like.

Short answer: "Yes".

Longer answer: Yes, particular when, if, & because "calling themselves what they like" is a means of re-affirming themselves or better redefining themselves as a group and as individuals within that group in the face of long standing [or "short standing" for that matter ;o)] negative group references that have been given to them or that they had previously accepted for themselves.

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Ruth Archer, I love your last post, especially the last paragraph.
But here's a question for you, what did you mean when you wrote:
"Calling something "gay" to mean naff was in playground usage when I was a kid [in] the 70s - it didn't lead to the term being abandoned by the gay community then."

Perhaps I should be clearer-what does "naff" mean? And where was it used [do you mean plagrounds in the USA or in England?] Also, how was it used? I'm curious if you mean that "gay"="naff" was used in a taunting, name calling way or was it used in a specific playground taunt?

Thanks.