Aye, Micca! Except it wad be 'hoyin' a tab.

And........

a face like a ....

Blind cobbler's thumb
Slate-hanger's nail pouch
Bulldog chewin' a wasp
Busted Wellie

There's mair!

Others aah like tend te cast nasturtiums on a lady's honour,

Her knickers are held up with ripcord
Ye knaah when she's had an orgasm when she drops her chips
When finished havin' sex she says, "What team d'ye aall play for?"