I was doing this when you were running 'round eating bread and jam with the arse out of your trousers!

On the job - having sex.
Pissed as a newt, or newted - drunk.
Tight as a duck's arse, and that's water tight - careful with their money
Tight as a nun's c**t - "
Bent as a box of top hats - Homosexual.
We had one of those and the wheels fell of _ in response to anyone using a long word.
OR, We hand one of those and we crossed it with a Flemish Giant.
Stever - penny. As in "Ain't worth a stever". or the Rhyming slang version "Ain'twirth a coal" (coal heaver -stever. A coal heaver was the man who delivered coal also known as the coal man)
Like a black cat on a coal 'ole. for something that blends with the background.
Black as Newgates Knocker - usually applied to God forbids (kids)
who come home dirty.
God forbids are also referred to as stove lids.
A coal hole used to mean the round hole in the pavement (sidewalk) that the coal man tipped the coal down. It was the top of a chute which went down to the coal cellar. But usuall meant the cellar itself.