Sarah Lass:
has read yez hints and finds them to be wantin'. Left yez a message in that there other secret santer-like thread. I gave yez a list of questions ta answer and such. Get on it girl. Pirates don't have twelve kinds of free time like elves. I must be gettin' on with key-haulin' some idget wot fell ta sleep on his watch.

An don't be so snarky 'bout gettin' a Christmas Pirate in place of a elf. Pirates have more gold to spend on pressies ya know. Ye don't think that Santer-feller pays for all dem pressies do yez? Noooooooo... they come out of our retainer fees. iffin yer real nice ta me, I might not be tempted to skimp on yer pressies.

Yours truly,
Peg Leg Pierce
Christmas Pirate

(You can call me PL iffin yez want)