All right, I confess, I do sing "Love has no pride". Preferably playing my late wife's Hagstrom.

And my dog died (the Great Dane) recently.

But I have no hungry children, no crop in the fields (and I'd never marry a woman named after a lavatory deodorant anyway - you know the one I mean, Loo-seal), I don't ride the rodeo and I haven't got a Chevy pickup. I haven't got cancer or TB and I never slept with my best friend's wife.

Can I sing something relevant to England instead?