THAT I'll tell you how to do for free! No medicines, no patches, just tie a string around the end of the penis you want to enlarge. Tie the other end to a door knob. Walk backwards until your penis is the length you need to please the ladies or satisfy your own feels of inadequacy.

Here's a tip: tie the string to knob of a door that swings away from you. Make sure the door is fully open and that you have only about a foot of slack string. Now have your lady friend slam the door shut.

No, no, don't thank me. The look on your face when you see your brand new penis will be enough.