Trubrit - I understand exactly what you mean. I was never meant to be a mother either. As I said above, I'm STILL waiting for that mothering instinct to kick in.

Not so much when she was tiny, because I kept working part time whilst a colleague and I shared childminding and his daughter (Limpit's best friend, 6 months younger and 6 inches taller!), but later, when she was about 3 and I'd been "let go" from that job and was at home either with her or waiting for her. 6 months of that turned me into a raving basket case, which subsided when I got another job. After 2 years in that job, I had some trouble with a bullying manager and took several weeks off. Those weeks at home, again either with her or for her, tipped me over the edge into 'dangerous basket case'. It was whilst chasing her around the dining room table explaining infanticide to her that I decided I needed to a) get some professional help and b) get out of the house more!

I've never deliberately hurt her, and would seriously damage anyone who tried to, but there have been many times that I have been glad I had Manitas around so I can disappear on my own for a day. Had I been a single parent, I have absolutely no doubts at all that I would be in some kind of institution by now.


LTS