The only time I ever heard highland pipes indoors was in an arena. It was the Black Watch, and it was pretty stirring. But I can imagine what they're like in close quarters. What bothers me about them, however, is the fact that when they get to playing "Scotland, the Brave", they can't reach the high note in the B part. And the note they do hit doesn't seem to be even in harmony with the right one.

But nothing comes close to the French pipe, I don't know the exact name, but it's a small, shrill (shrill, as in "IF IT DOESN'T STOP NOW I'M GOING TO COMMIT MASS MURDER AND NOT FEEL ANY REMORSE STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT GODDAMN IT SON OF A BITCH GET IT AWAY GET IT AWAY AUGGGGHHH -SOund of my head exploding). And the tunes played on it are completely incomprehensible, at least to my American ears. The first time I heard one was as a kid, messing with my brother's multi=band radio. I thought I'd managed to get a station from another planet. (Really). Just thinking about it makes me BOOM SPLAT


Sorry, folks, but Steve's head just expoded.