Slag -

My sole claim to chess fame hinges on one single game.

Many years ago, there was a chess club at a place where I worked. I had (mostly reluctantly) plaid a few lunchtime games, and was thus subjected to an unrelenting barrage of extortionate threats that I must come to the club and at least see if I liked it.

I finally relented, and went to a club meeting. A "surprise" to all who attended was a visit by the then current and newly crowned State Champion who offered to "play the club." More or less forced to play I pushed a couple of pieces, and concentrating "really hard" worked my way into one of those long, boring, losing games - not noticing that after about an hour there were only two of us left in play with the champ.

(Over half the club - about 15 or so - went down in less than 10 or 12 moves, which didn't seem to suggest a very stimulating regular competition.)

As the "champion" was quite obviously much more interested in "the other guy" than in me, since I could predict exactly what he was going to do each time he came back to the board, and since I'd known I was irretrievably beaten since the third move (unless he did something incredibly stupid), I took the gentlemanly option, eventually I think after about 80 moves or so, of resigning to permit the two of them to finish their "more interesting game."

It turned out that the "other guy" - unbeknownst to us all - was a Grand Master and 4 or 5 times State Champion with lots of experience in international competition - - semi-retired. Their game did not end but was abandoned when they could not come to a conlusion about whether pieces left could force a mate or had to be played to a stalemate and the staff started stacking up the chairs. (They did a lot more talking than playing during the last hour or so.)

Having so impressed everyone with my extended survival (fatally wounded and bleeding from the second move, but they didn't notice) I was never able to get another club member to sit down and play with me, so I retired from any and all "formal competition."

[Someone told me later that I'd used a "Queens Indian" defense, if you're interested, but I never looked it up. It made for too long a game - at least that time.]

I have never played in any "organized play" or in formal/ranking competition, and in fact never actually "joined" a chess club.

It's a great game, but frankly I'd rather - most times - just hang out with the girls. (Joining in the plots against macho foolishness - as cited by others above - is optional.)

John