'Twas early in December, in '07, I think
Heave away, haul away
That Chantyranger's prezzie got dropped in the drink
And I'm bound fer Cali-for-nye-ay!

Got stomped in the middle, got flattened by a truck
Heave away, haul away
Got chased by a raccoon, got nibbled by a duck
And I'm bound fer Cali-for-nye-ay!

Now, what did it do to deserve such a fate?
Heave away, haul away
Just the old Postal Service trying not to be late!
And I'm bound fer Cali-for-nye-ay!