Now Bobert. When are you gonna figure out that Wes Ginny slide rule of yorn was invented by a woman, and ain't likely to ever deliver up the secret that you seek?

Yep. It's true.

There was this hillbilly woman lived out on Poca River with too much to do to answer silly questions all day. Well, she finally got tired of her man askin' her what made her tick. So she come up with the Wes Ginny slide rule. Next time he asked, she handed her new contraption to him and said, "Go figure." She reckoned that would keep him too busy to keep asking' silly questions and seekin' answers where mystery ought to prevail. it worked.

Nothing pleases a womanz more than a man who stays busy. Twarn't long before every woman in the holler had given her man one of those Wes Ginny slide rules. Now the menz is all busy, and the womenz is all happy.

I wouldn't lie to you about this, Bobertz. You is too good a friend.