The following was written by a local comedy group called "Four Day Weekend"

Bush Shocked To Find Osama Bin Laden Was His Secret Santa


Washington, DC—President Bush learned the identity of his secret Santa early Sunday morning after nearly a month of speculation by the Chief Executive. Bush found a note tucked into his final present of the season that said, "Surprise! It's me. Osama bin Santa." President Bush was surprised by the revelation.


"Boy, do I have egg on my face today," admitted Bush. "I guess I should have known it was him because each time I got a gift it said, 'Merry Christmas, you American pig.' I just assumed it was Senator Craig in one of his homophobic drunken rages."


White House Press Secretary Dana Perino issued a statement saying that the President intends on returning the gifts that he received from bin Laden due to a conflict of interest.


"The president feels that since he is trying to hunt down and kill Osama bin Laden he would be sending the wrong message to keep the gifts. Everything will be returned except for the case of Johnny Walker Blue. JW Blue is premier scotch and no infidel should have it in their possession."