In ancient Greece, if a man caught someone having sex with his wife, he could apply the customary punishment of shoving a radish up his arse. ... Sadly for Greek adulterers, their radishes were about 10 inches long and 2 inches diameter, and quite probably fatal.

Puts the song Ring of fire in a new light. And you'd want to make sure any grinder, mini or not, was watercooled.

Cheers, Rowan