There should be something to be done with the coincidence of him being called Darwin and coming from Hartlepool...

Maybe for a chorus for that song of mine. Perhaps for alternate verses. No firm tune yet, but it's got the makings of one. But anyone is welcome to have a go with it. Words a bit adjusted here :

I went for a paddle out in the wet
Deep in the water and deeper in debt,
And what happened next, well, I quite forget..
Now why must everyone get so upset?
I told me lady wife I was dead,
But she didn't believe a word that I said,
And she washed me clothes and made sure I was fed,
But she said "Best keep your side of the bed"
And I paddled me own canoe.

Yes, I paddled me own canoe,
Oh what was a fella to do,
Like the Hartlepool monkey I'll be put in a frame,
As the Hartlepool Darwin, I'll be scorned and be shamed,
And it all started out as a kind of a game,
When I paddled me own canoe.

For five long years I stayed in the house,
I made sure that I made no more noise than a mouse,
I talked to nobody else but my spouse
And I talked to myself when she wasn't about.
And everyone thought that I must have been drowned,
So if ever a neighbour should chance to come round,
I'd climb in me cupboard so I'd go to ground,
Yes, I made quite sure that I never was found,
And I paddled me own canoe.

Yes, I paddled me own canoe,
Oh what was a fella to do,
Like the Hartlepool monkey I'll be put in a frame,
As the Hartlepool Darwin, I'll be scorned and be shamed,
And it all started out as a kind of a game,
When I paddled me own canoe.

Then we flew far away, and we bought us a flat,
Then I posed for a pic in my panama hat,
And it seemed that somebody smelt a rat,
And it all came out - and that was that.
So if anyone else wants to have a try,
You've got to take care when you make to die,
You've got sly and you've got to act shy,
If you don't you might end just the same as I,
When I paddled me own canoe.

Yes, I paddled me own canoe,
Oh what was a fella to do,
Like the Hartlepool monkey I'll be put in a frame,
As the Hartlepool Darwin, I'll be scorned and be shamed,
And it all started out as a kind of a game,
When I paddled me own canoe.